Respect is something that seems to be hard to get these days. The hardest place it seems is among the pre-teen and teen dimension. This dimension is filled with loud music, ugly looks, closed doors and raging hormones. From getting them up to sending them to bed.....attitude. If your lucky you won't have to repeat yourself or hear that your hated. Don't get me wrong they are still and will always be the little child with dirt and a smile on their face. You just have to realize that tough love your parents gave was for a reason when you were growing up. Everyone has a time in their lives when they feel they are right and can do no wrong. They also feel as if they know everything there is possible to know. How many times a day in the middle of a discussion with your children do you hear "I know, I know" or "Ok, ok...you don't have to tell me I'm fully aware"? It is us as adults to show and give respect to everyone as a role model to these children. An respect should be given to the children as well. The problem is that so many people feel a sense of entitlement that they don't give they respect to others. There is no manners or treating others the way they want to be treated....all that is around us and children these days is greed and selfishness. So what do they learn that they can be selfish and greedy. Everything is about them.
I am one for until that child reaches 17 or18, that child is a parents responsibly and in that they are not to wrap their world around their children but incorporated and be a part of each others lives. By wrapping your world around your child your telling your child they come first, that they are more important and you bend to them. Lets give a situation and ask the question what would you do....you share custody with your ex and you have a teen who springs on you the night before they have made plans to go to a sleep over. This is a last minute thing you have informed all of them that you have your days and you life in another town so your parenting time is off limits to friend plans. They can do it with their dad who is in the same town as their friends but it just cost to much for you to drive back and forth. So they have made plans even though they know there is a rule in place. They plead and beg an you give in. The child has now come to the understanding that rules can be broken in your house with the right amount of pressure place. Your world is ruled by them, they are the alpha of the pack now.
How do you get this to end though? By placing a firm foot down. It's hard once its in motion. Take a bike for instance the only way to stop it is to stop its wheels once it's put into motion. You can use the brakes once it's in motion but depending on how fast your going is going to determine how much brake pressure you need. If you've let them be the alpha for a long time you'll get the big fight....but keep your foot down no matter what. No matter the situation if you don't create a new habit and break the old one you won't get any where.
So stick to it and brake the cycle don't put it off till tomorrow...that's another 24 hours that your giving up your right as the alpha in the house. An it may sound wrong and mean but children need to know their place and their role in the house. They have no reason to back talk, give dirty looks, slam doors, or get physical with any one; older or younger then them. Every minute and every second you give to your child the right as an alpha your saying to them its ok and that your choice is to be lower on the totumpole in the house. So teach your children and make sure to stick to it. Wars aren't won in a day they are won over time and with action taken.
