The Parent and The Protector

So when should you be concerned about a adult or even a child and their intentions with a child? What is appropriate conversation to have in front of a child and what is appropriate to say to a child? I bring this up because I found out that a man had said something to his niece, who did not get the concept of what was said due to her age. It was a heavily suggestive, sexual and above all else inappropriate comment. It was a comment you would say in the privacy of your own home between two full grown adults who were sexually involved. My niece was there but did not hear the conversation just was told was said. She also didn't get what was being the content of what was being said.
Needless to say because they thought it was a funny saying it was posted on my nieces fb wall as an inside joke by her friend who's house she was staying. Their was no question these two girls knew not what they were posting, which has been removed now. Her mother checks her page and I check her page it's almost a tag team to make sure nothing is missed. Its hard being a parent with having more than one kid and especially three girls going through emotional and physical changes.
So what happens because in this case there is no control or not much knowledge of the situation, you warn. You make sure to let them know the person is not safe, stay away. Don't be alone or near them. If there were more of a substantial evidence and your daughter was the one involved or son as well, more steps should be taken.
Protect your children. Make sure they can come to you with questions and about uncomfortable situations. Also find time for them, have a time set aside each week for ice cream or lunch, when you can unwind and talk. It might take sometime but they will warm up. Remember your still an adult and the parent your not their friend, yes you can be their friend but again you are their parent. I have seen to many parent try to be cool for their kids so they will like them, they forget to be their parent as well. It's not a bad thing either a parent is a protector. Whether it be a no or a hug it's the parent being the protector.

Role Models Make for Good Brain

So just because you watch or have kids does that mean you can only watch G rated movies and listen to  Disney Radio? No. There off course levels of appropriateness that apply. I don't think you would want your 8 year old watching or reading Twilight. However a child that is in high school is probably ready. I picked Twilight because if you have watched the movies or read the books you are aware that there is a lot of adult content including sex involved. There are plenty of music such as Nicki Minaj that is in appropriate. When we exposed children to explicit material at to early of an age they are to young not to incorporate some of it into their life. My nephew who is 5 exhibits signs of sexuality. He doesn't seem to know what he is doing just that its ok to do it. We are more then sure when he was younger his father would watch porn when he would watch him when he was three. There are little sparks that go off in the brain like light bulbs. Connections that are realized and they are memories. There are the other ones and those bring about underline issues. For example a child that is abused. There are to thinks that can happen. They can live forgetting their childhood when they were abused and have underline issues with say males if it was their father that abused them. Or they could remember there childhood when they were abused and have memories. They would have realized issues with males.

A child's brain is not developed until their at least in college. This means that every thing they see, hear, experience and put into their body effects them so much. It is our responsibility to protect, guide and be a positive example for every child out there. You can have me time and do your thing but your child needs to have a good role model. Remember you have children in your life and its a joy. It's up to you to make their future and yes even your future a little easy by helping them along. Be a role model that they will want to be like when they are your age.

Let the Force Be With You

So it's a late night tonight. I've been cleaning and organizing almost all day. Some times it takes getting the kids out of the house to get the major cleaning and organizing done that has been put off. Or for that matter has never been done after say like a move. If you don't get it organized and cleaned it wears on the family and cause "a disturbance in the force" of the structure and well being of the family. This disturbance can cause sickness, agitation, and can create even problems with the outside world. Things can't be found so the family is not on time, hygiene is affected, headache and muscle pain are exhibited due to stress.

So does that mean you take a vacation and hire a maid. No. The best solution is to let the kids visit a family member for the weekend or a close friend. That way their somewhere safe and you can stay in communication. Next have a plan. If it's going room to room. Or maybe gathering all clothes, then papers, making beds...and so on. Papers and clothes should be gone through last. If you find your self with a stack of paper wait till you have everything clean, same goes for clothes. If your unsure if clothes fit you or your kids now is not the time to pick threw them or have a fashion show.

Remember you want to get as much done as passible. An I know its easy to throw something up in a closet when the bag is right there and say I'll put it together when I get there. Just do it then. It makes it easier. Its cleaning and making the house or apartment clean and safe for your kids and you to live in. Also don't forget to clean out vents in air conditioners and fans...dust collectors!!! Whether you have allergies or not its not healthy to breath in all that dust and dirt. Well off to have a cup of coffee and get to cleaning and organizing. Hopefully finish what I started yesterday :)