The Parent and The Protector

So when should you be concerned about a adult or even a child and their intentions with a child? What is appropriate conversation to have in front of a child and what is appropriate to say to a child? I bring this up because I found out that a man had said something to his niece, who did not get the concept of what was said due to her age. It was a heavily suggestive, sexual and above all else inappropriate comment. It was a comment you would say in the privacy of your own home between two full grown adults who were sexually involved. My niece was there but did not hear the conversation just was told was said. She also didn't get what was being the content of what was being said.
Needless to say because they thought it was a funny saying it was posted on my nieces fb wall as an inside joke by her friend who's house she was staying. Their was no question these two girls knew not what they were posting, which has been removed now. Her mother checks her page and I check her page it's almost a tag team to make sure nothing is missed. Its hard being a parent with having more than one kid and especially three girls going through emotional and physical changes.
So what happens because in this case there is no control or not much knowledge of the situation, you warn. You make sure to let them know the person is not safe, stay away. Don't be alone or near them. If there were more of a substantial evidence and your daughter was the one involved or son as well, more steps should be taken.
Protect your children. Make sure they can come to you with questions and about uncomfortable situations. Also find time for them, have a time set aside each week for ice cream or lunch, when you can unwind and talk. It might take sometime but they will warm up. Remember your still an adult and the parent your not their friend, yes you can be their friend but again you are their parent. I have seen to many parent try to be cool for their kids so they will like them, they forget to be their parent as well. It's not a bad thing either a parent is a protector. Whether it be a no or a hug it's the parent being the protector.

Role Models Make for Good Brain

So just because you watch or have kids does that mean you can only watch G rated movies and listen to  Disney Radio? No. There off course levels of appropriateness that apply. I don't think you would want your 8 year old watching or reading Twilight. However a child that is in high school is probably ready. I picked Twilight because if you have watched the movies or read the books you are aware that there is a lot of adult content including sex involved. There are plenty of music such as Nicki Minaj that is in appropriate. When we exposed children to explicit material at to early of an age they are to young not to incorporate some of it into their life. My nephew who is 5 exhibits signs of sexuality. He doesn't seem to know what he is doing just that its ok to do it. We are more then sure when he was younger his father would watch porn when he would watch him when he was three. There are little sparks that go off in the brain like light bulbs. Connections that are realized and they are memories. There are the other ones and those bring about underline issues. For example a child that is abused. There are to thinks that can happen. They can live forgetting their childhood when they were abused and have underline issues with say males if it was their father that abused them. Or they could remember there childhood when they were abused and have memories. They would have realized issues with males.

A child's brain is not developed until their at least in college. This means that every thing they see, hear, experience and put into their body effects them so much. It is our responsibility to protect, guide and be a positive example for every child out there. You can have me time and do your thing but your child needs to have a good role model. Remember you have children in your life and its a joy. It's up to you to make their future and yes even your future a little easy by helping them along. Be a role model that they will want to be like when they are your age.

Let the Force Be With You

So it's a late night tonight. I've been cleaning and organizing almost all day. Some times it takes getting the kids out of the house to get the major cleaning and organizing done that has been put off. Or for that matter has never been done after say like a move. If you don't get it organized and cleaned it wears on the family and cause "a disturbance in the force" of the structure and well being of the family. This disturbance can cause sickness, agitation, and can create even problems with the outside world. Things can't be found so the family is not on time, hygiene is affected, headache and muscle pain are exhibited due to stress.

So does that mean you take a vacation and hire a maid. No. The best solution is to let the kids visit a family member for the weekend or a close friend. That way their somewhere safe and you can stay in communication. Next have a plan. If it's going room to room. Or maybe gathering all clothes, then papers, making beds...and so on. Papers and clothes should be gone through last. If you find your self with a stack of paper wait till you have everything clean, same goes for clothes. If your unsure if clothes fit you or your kids now is not the time to pick threw them or have a fashion show.

Remember you want to get as much done as passible. An I know its easy to throw something up in a closet when the bag is right there and say I'll put it together when I get there. Just do it then. It makes it easier. Its cleaning and making the house or apartment clean and safe for your kids and you to live in. Also don't forget to clean out vents in air conditioners and fans...dust collectors!!! Whether you have allergies or not its not healthy to breath in all that dust and dirt. Well off to have a cup of coffee and get to cleaning and organizing. Hopefully finish what I started yesterday :)

Age Limits

Oh my gosh I just shot my 10 year old niece with a pellet gun....she keeps looking at her leg. She's giving me a guilt trip. I do feel bad though. There is a welt...so what's the lesson: there are age limits on things for a reason. Unfortunately it should have been marked for over the ages of 30.

Age limits are something that most kids and even some adults have to understand. Whether it be a cool new game or movie that just came out that everyone is talking about. There is a reason behind these warnings and ratings. Do I think some should be rated higher....oh heck yes. My oldest nice, meaning a 13 year old, went and watched a PG-13 called The Possession. I watched the trailers for this movie and was in shock that they would think a child with or without a parents presents would be ok. What is the parent gonna do? They hold on to the kid and very few walk out. They don't want to waste their hard earned money by walking out; get what you pay for. This movie in particular is about.....(thanks to good old Google):
                   Clyde and Stephanie Brenek see little cause for alarm when their youngest daughter Em becomes oddly obsessed with an antique wooden box she purchased at a yard sale. But as Em's behavior becomes increasingly erratic, the couple fears the presence of a malevolent force in their midst , only to discover that the box was built to contain a dibbuk, a dislocated spirit that inhabits and ultimately devours its human host.
I would say that is to much for a child to handle. Yet they are making more of these movies geared towards teens and children. An if it's not horror (as I shake my head) its adult content. For instance look at Madagascar especially No. 2. There was adult content through out the whole movie. We as adults laugh since the kids don't get it but its put into their brains. Connections are made sooner then later and this is one of the ways that children are forced to grow up so fast in ways they should be more innocent.  It is really sad that kids are exposed to so much and it seems earlier and earlier they are. 
I watched a guy stand outside his car the other day with his car door open. His two children in the backseat crying, they looked younger then three. He was in the mean time standing there with his friend passing a blunt back and forth. Getting high before he drove, letting the smoke drift into the car.....and ignoring the kids cause smoking week was more important. 
My reason for telling you his is that those children see all this. They see how smoking is important, how friends are important, and how family is not important when it comes to the other things in life. We have to care for children and the rest of our family, show that they come first. That material and people who go in an out of our lives aren't as important as those who will always have your back. 

Little Catch Up- had computer probs

So I go to start a blog and wouldn't you know I start having trouble with my computer...so not cool. My time time has been lately setting up for crafts and cleaning. Also of course my aunt duties: taken kids to school, picking them up and even takn the younger one whose in kindergarden and staying with him. The youngest one it looks like he's gonna have to be homeschooled, not doing well leaving for school or for that matter staying at school. He actually told me today school was boring. Which is understandable. He's slow in social skills but fast in other areas. He has know his alphabet since he was like 3, and he can already count to a hundred. In class their learned 0-5 right now. So he's not being challenged, along with stuff like to much noises that affect his SID. Homeschololing seems to be the answer at least for right now.

As for me I feel like, well I know I have no personal life. So on to online dating again. I had actually met a great guy but he had to move. So stepping out of being an aunt I realize I am human and a woman. I need that interaction that I am so not getting spending time with kids all day long. Hopeing for the best on it.

I would like to use this blog to not only tell about my own life and what I deal with as a aunt of four and being a woman, but also to share tips and recipies that can help on the road through life for who ever takes care of kids. Some of the tips and recipies with be for the family including arts and crafts. I will also make sure to lable to inform it is only for adults so tips, activities and food that is for shall we say 'me time' lol. Every person who takes care of a child deserves some sort of a break, whether it be a bath and a glass of wine, or a night out. Remember there are friends, family, and even babysitters out there to utilize for those breaks.

Well I'm off for now have to get ready to pick my nieces up from school. So excited to see them, only get to see them every other week do to custoday between parents. But I'm thankfull as much as I can be cause I could not see them at all. Be happy with what you have cause you could end up with nothing at all. Well thanks so much and will talk to you later.

Mary Poppins what would you do?

I am really terrible at beginning intros so here we go.....this blog is my way of collecting and sorting ideas and tips that is helpful to a family. I am lucky to help out my sister with her four kids, whose ages range from 14 to 5. Some times I feel like I am a nanny between all the cleaning, the cooking, driving and assisting with homework. An I think to myself sometimes what would Mary Poppins do? Sometimes the answer I get is she would give the kids a spoonful of sugar and fly away with her umbrella. LOL. I really love my sister's kids and would do what ever I could for them. They amaze me every day and sometimes kill my side with all the laughing I do wit them. Sometimes...actually all the time I have to wonder where they get their material. Like my nephew the other day who is 5 looks at me and tells me "Get along without me....I'm busy doing something"....what 5 year old says 'get along without me'? They are my sunshine and my coffee....they make every day a beautiful and easier day to enjoy.